Helping or Hindering?

I'm a helper, if I stumble upon someone (anyone) having trouble it is my natural instinct to try and assist in some way. Heaps of people help others and they do so for all kinds of reasons. Those reasons aren't always pure, if you're an empath like me you might find that hard to believe but it's sadly true.

Sometimes folks make a habit of playing agony Annie to everyone to project an image of a charitable soul, when in reality they may be disempowering the person they are claiming to help because they have a vested interest in the individual NOT doing better.

Egos, personality disorders and heaps of other factors can turn your "helping" into hinderance for someone reaching out and vulnerable. Signs your help might not be as innocent as you proclaim it is

- You run a social media account on behalf of, or on the subject of someone you care for and it would affect your content if the person was to improve in circumstance.

-You are filling some emotional need of your own that is driving your behaviour like stepping in as a temporary care giver or pseudo grandparent and you would miss the attention or sense of identity that would give you if you were no longer needed.

-You require photos with folks who are going through hard times to fill your personal or your Church's social media, website etc with hard luck and poverty porn.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself and the best help you could give someone instead of doing these things is to not help at all. Disempowerment can set someone back on the road to stability and even though it feels nice to be needed, your feelings just don't matter as much as a vulnerable person's ability to be autonomous. This is a subject I'll be exploring more in the future because I'm meeting too many folk getting hurt by helpers.

Loren xx